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I get a Christmas card from them every year, and postcards from their travels," Stella recalls. The couple were so enamoured of her matchmaking abilities that just a few years ago, they sent their nephew to see her. They were both single and they were both determined to marry farmers," she says. So that wasn't a bad day's work, all told. Another lady requested a macho type with a beard, and got herself a bearded sea captain whom she now accompanies on his travels round the coast of Britain. But if the business was booming, Stella's professional success was to prove the final straw for her own unhappy marriage.

He was so mortified he packed his bags and left that day. The couple divorced - another huge social stigma for Stella and her agency. The Sixties might now be seen as the decade which started Britain swinging, but the day-to-day reality was a buttonedup society which frowned on any departure from the social norm. I used to have terrible trouble getting anyone to work for me. It was not the only obstacle she would come up against, as Stella found out when she took a young twenty-something unmarried mother onto her books.

I was told it would be unseemly. In the end the only paper that would co-operate was the local paper in Colchester, so I decided to move there. I was divorcing Ernest and a fresh start seemed in order. The advent in the late Sixties of the computer dating service Dateline, which matched people on its database according to their likes and dislikes, made the notion of professional matchmaking more accessible. For Stella, however, it is the personal-touch that she likes to think singles her agency out. In 50 years of matchmaking, she has met every single one of her clients face to face.

They always try to avoid giving you their home address and can't quite look you in the eye. In these frantic days of speed-dating, internet romancing and one-night stands, it is rather quaint to think of Stella shuffling through her paperwork, pondering which men and women might find happiness with one another. There is one great shift in behaviour which she singles out from her experience - the slow death of marriage. Today, she says, many of her clients are content to find romance rather than marriage. People are perfectly happy just to have a relationship, and when that finishes they come to me again to fix up another one.

There have been other changes, too. The last time I asked someone about their religion during their interview was a few years ago. The man replied that he was 'C of A'. So I kicked that question into touch. People's habits have changed beyond recognition, too. But while our tastes may have changed, the principles of professional match-making remain much the same.

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To be frank, these days there are too many young men, and too many old women. There just aren't the men out there for them, because the older men want the younger girls, unfortunately. The second, she says, is attitude.

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  • And if they still have it by the end of the interview, there's no point in allowing them to join. I never sign up people that I know I can't help," she says firmly.


    They come from all generations and backgrounds, from twenty and thirtysomethings with no time to look for love, to an octogenarian widower. She tends to draw the upper age limit at 50 for women, due to a lack of demand after that age. I don't tell them they can't join, but I explain they probably won't have much luck, and then it is up to them. The men have their own crosses to bear, too.

    Dateline Mystery 2017: Online Dating Gone Bad

    And bald-headed men have a hard time, too. Ultimately, it seems we still have a lot to learn about romance, with hope triumphing over experience more often than not.